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The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, son?” he asked. “That’s nothing” the kid said after taking a swig of beer. “I got laid when I was three”. “What? How did that happen?” “I don’t remember. I was drunk”.The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, none of whom could figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour’s examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong.He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was to have sex.Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length.Finally they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the Pope stated “I agree but under four conditions”.The cardinals were amazed. ‘Yes.’ ‘Lisa, loving you is so easy, I’m not even sure when it happened. It seems like I’ve always been in love with you.’ ‘Then, why didn’t you tell me?’ ‘I worried you didn’t feel the same,’ he answered shyly. ‘Then, I worried you might feel some sort of warped obligation because of the whole rescue thing. I love you so much that I was afraid that if you didn’t love me for just me that I’d fall apart. There was also …’ ‘What?’ ‘I feel kinda stupid.’ ‘You can say anything to me. I need to know what you’re feeling and thinking.’ Dan pondered how to say it. ‘I think you’re beautiful, Lisa.’ ‘Yeah … that’s a really hard thing for a girl to hear,’ she teased. ‘No, I mean it … you are REALLY beautiful! And, you, uhm, get me …’ ‘Excited … like at the pool?’ ‘Yeah,’ he answered timidly. ‘I don’t know how much more of this I can take.’ ‘You’re making jokes, but this is really difficult for me.’ She sat up and glared at him. ‘Why? Because I was raped?’ He sat up as well. ‘Yeah, I mean, that.
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